I have no freaking idea.
I'm not stumped by many questions. Whether it's a job interview or a 1 am trampoline talk or a lunch date, if you ask me a personal question or ask for my opinion on a topic, I won't usually be shy with my thoughts. But there's one question I've been asked a number of times that to this day I don't feel like I have a good answer for: why do you want to do well at whatever you're doing?
It's a total mental roadblock for me. I can't access the part of my brain that can process why it pushes itself so hard. It keeps that part hidden from me so there's no risk in me turning it off.
I've thought through it enough to be able to say this much: I want to do well at whatever I'm doing because I love the thrill of stumbling into something I really love. I'm a passionate person by nature, and there's nothing more addicting to me than the shot of adrenaline when you know you're onto something and just have to follow that rabbit hole a little bit farther to see what it is. It happens with music. It happens with photography. It happens with any graphic design or video editing or other creative work I might get up to. It's a feeling worth chasing.
But I've talked with enough people about this topic that I know many people just don't operate this way. Their bodies simply don't react as viscerally to these creative highs. They might get a rush at the thought of validation from their peers or financial gain or being of service, but not at the act of creation. And I want to say something like, "Neither type of motivation is better than the others," but I don't think that's true. I think there's a lot to be gained when you're motivated by the sheer sensation of building something new. The people who leave the biggest dent on the world are the ones driven by an idea itself, not how the people around them react to it.
But how do you cultivate this in a person? How do you raise a child in this way? How do you train the body to get these rushes whenever you see a good idea slip into being a great one? I want to do well at whatever I'm doing because I'm a passionate person and get excited by the idea of creating something great, but how did I get like this in the first place? Is it something my parents did while raising me? Is it something I did to myself? Is it hard-coded into my DNA?
It's a question I struggle with all the time. I still don't know what to tell you.
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